Oh! I have laughed so much with you.... mostly with dgrimater's warrior cat ... that I thought I was in the Jokes's thread which has left me with pain in my vocal cords :goofball:
In the country I was born lovers call one to each other in a lot of sweet different ways like:
Wow!!! all of them are :ROFL: :ROFL: my neighbors will call the police because of my :ROFL: :ROFL:
They are all goooooood!!! :peace:
I have found these ones:
There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, "Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door."
Soon after he opened his shop the first man came in and said, "I want a shave!" The barber said, "Sure, just sit in the seat and I'll be with you in a moment." The barber went in the back and prayed a quick desperate prayer saying, "God, the first customer came in and I'm going to witness to him. So give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say to him. Amen."
Then quickly the barber came out with his razor knife in one hand and a Bible in the other while saying "Good morning sir. I have a question for you... Are you ready to die?"
�
A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. "Gutenberg?" gasped the collector.
"Yes, that was it!"
"You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!"
"Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther."
///
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"
///
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."
After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"
The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair...."
To which his father replied...."Yes, and they WALKED everywhere they went!"
Now. seriously... I really thinks that a man is THE MAN OF THE HOUSE... the ONE WEARING PANTS... Yes, yes... They have to say the last word at home always, always ... listen ladies... they always say the last words: " Yes, honey.... as you wish..."
I feel bad reading about your frustration... You have felt rejected in this dating site... that hurts, but.. remember... they are not what they say to be... forgive and keep going without more pain in your heart that that one to help you learn...
The children of God are "spread" all over the world... you will find some of them, more than just some of them, for sure!!!.... Right now you are in the perfect place... you have become part of a group of men and women who love God and follow Him no matter the way their life have been... just take a look to our profiles... you will see how different we all are.... I am speaking about this group which is talking to you... you will know more of them, be patient... you will find love here among us...
This is the first site I signed in, on last December, after years of an almost "life as a nun"... don't laugh, really... I received an advised from a friend here, he told me to come to the Forum, and that was amazing, because as this is my first time in a Christian Forum I was excited like a little girl, almost forgot the "dating" side of it. Sometimes I write, sometimes I just read... but every day I know more people who, like you, come and share their life, believes, concerns and wisdom... nobody has been rejected here, not by those who have already written to you... right here...
One thing you have to learn... Remember that God loves EVERY ONE OF US, believers or not believers... when He allows us to be in contact He knows that some of us will hurt others, because we are in different times of our lives and we all come from different background ...
This is my point: Remember that God is treating here with more than one life, not only yours... If a man mistreats you or he is vulgar with you and you reply with wisdom and forgiveness... he will keep that in his mind forever...
You will find hard studies of the Word of God, you will find other people experiences, and you will find a very happy and funny Christian Community...
And.... yes, young lady...sweet sister... you will find the man for your life here or wherever God decides to give that gift to you... in the meantime... Come and rejoice with us!!! :yay:
You have studied the Word.... Share it!!
You are young and full of energy... Share it!!
You want to laugh.... Oh!!! come and laugh!!
But... never get discouraged.... Don't evaluate the real children of the God of Love because some "wolves" come to disturb the peace of the flock... Forgive them and show to your Father that you are learning to give love whether you receive it back or not...
A long life is in front of you...!!! start running without looking to the sides of the road!!! You have time to pray and wait patiently... Hello!!! we... the ones who have more than 40 Aprils we have time too!!! So raise your head and be HAPPY...
Hi Edw... believe me, I have spent a valuable time counting the peas contained in a medium size can yesterday.... Uff!!!! I gave up!!! ... poor woman... :ROFL:
Your Best Reasons to enjoy being a Man are amazing... [[[[Now... between you and me, here... speaking in a very low voice... for nobody else to listen... I would "disappear" the number twelve... be careful... but, this is just between you and me... No more talking about that, Ok?... Sssshh!! :rolleyes: ]]]]
***
This week I am at home & playing house husband. My wife left a list of things I need to do. This is soooooo easy I thought I would share it with you.
1). Make the beds......
What a waste of effort, we're only going to sleep in them again tonight. Forget that.
Scratch one.
2). Pick up dog poop in yard.......
It snowed last night, I don't see any dog poop, kids do you see any dog poop?
Scratch two.
3). Drop your shirts off at the cleaners.......
Duhh I'm on vacation I don't need them.
Scratch three.
This is easy, what's the fuss. Think I'll go on the computer for a while.
4). Mop kitchen floor.....
The dog licked up that sugar spill from breakfast, floor looks clean to me.
Scratch four.
Good doggie go play in the yard. She just loves rolling in the snow... I hope there is no dog poop...
5). Find something fun for the kids to do.....
That tin foil in the microwave thing was kinda fun.
Scratch five.
This is way too easy I'll have lots of time for the computer
6). Vacuum the carpets......
That's a hard one....... Hey kids wanna have some more FUN.
Scratch six.
7). Feed kids lunch.....
Hey kids, don't you have a friend�s house to go too?
YESSSS Scratch seven!!
Boy O Boy am I good, lunch time. Pour some chili into the cracker bag & eat. Taaa daaa no lunch dishs
8). Do laundry.....
No problem I can do that while I'm on the computer
Scratch eight.
9). Fold laundry.....
Ya know I never noticed how many pink things this family actually wears. Gonna have to ask da little lady why she buys me pale pink underwear??
Scratch nine.
10). Water the Christmas tree...
Oop's!... good thing the carpet is absorbent.
Scratch ten.
11). Grocery shopping, Buy toilet paper.......
These old newspapers will do, besides, that's recycling & that's good for the earth....
Scratch eleven.
Wonder who's on the computer. I have plenty of time.
12). Make dinner.....
Easy, "Hello do you deliver? uhhh double that, Ya know we will need more dinner tomorrow".
Scratch twelve.
WOW all done. Man this is sooooo easy. Still time for some more computer and a nap..... Women must complain about house work just to make us guys think they're working.
Grace, now that you have brought this I remembered another thing that "pull us out from our worshiping moments"... I was praying very still, with my eyes closed and very quite, you know those moments... Then suddenly one of the sisters pulled me by my arm, she was moving around, like dancing, she made me open my eyes and stop my prayer for me to join her dancing... I was so confused... That was years ago.
we would cry!!!