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Agnos

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Let's start a Joke thread!
Posted : 6 Apr, 2010 04:27 PM

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he�s allowed to say two words every seven years.

After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away.

Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away.

Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That�s not surprising," the elders say. "You�ve done nothing but complain since you got here."

Agnos

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Let's start a Joke thread!
Posted : 6 Apr, 2010 04:16 PM

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.

Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City."

St. Peter consults his list.

He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

The taxi driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn.

He stands tall and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Calvary for the last forty-three years."

St Peter consults his list.

He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?"

"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."

Agnos

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Let's start a Joke thread!
Posted : 5 Apr, 2010 07:24 PM

Lessons To Be Learned From Noah's Ark

One: Don't miss the boat.

Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.

Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old Someone may ask you to do something really big.

Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

Six: Build your future on high ground.

Seven: For safety's sake travel in pairs.

Eight: Speed isn't everything. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

Nine: When you're stressed, float awhile.

Ten: Remember the Ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic by professionals...

Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God there's always a rainbow waiting.

Agnos

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Jesus!
Posted : 4 Apr, 2010 11:32 AM

SOS, sister... you have a complete church praising the Lord!!! :bow: Amen!

"He conquered death" ... we should be still and faithful during the storm... because nothing can touch us without His consent... not even death!!!!

Is there anything He has not done since the "beginning"?... He lives in the eternity because He is the Word of God...

John 1: 3,4 - All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

In him was life; and the life was the light of men.



Praise the Name which is above all names!! the God who is above everyone and everything!!! :yay: :applause:

Agnos

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What's Your Favorite Scripture That You Hold Dear Too Your Heart?
Posted : 3 Apr, 2010 06:13 PM

Habakkuk 2:20 - But the LORD is in his holy temple: let all the earth keep silence before him.



Like Jackie... one of my favorites is Romans 8:38,39 - For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.



Revelation 21:4 - And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.



Revelation 22:17 - And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.

Agnos

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Let's start a Joke thread!
Posted : 3 Apr, 2010 09:20 AM

Signs on Church Property:

"No God-No Peace... Know God-Know Peace."

"Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"

"Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"

"Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons-come hear one!" :goofball:

"Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday."

"How will you spend eternity-Smoking or Non-smoking?"

"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"

"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."

"It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."

"This is a ch_ _ch... When u r inside... :prayingm:

"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."

"In the dark? Follow the Son." !!!!!!!!!!!!! :bow:

Agnos

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Fall
Posted : 2 Apr, 2010 04:50 PM

Oh, Grace, I will be praying for you too, starting right now...

May God give you patience to wait until you recover completely.

Love you. :prayingf:

Agnos

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If I...
Posted : 1 Apr, 2010 04:26 PM

Ooooh!! no...... no, no, no..... no, no, no, and no!!!!

Miss Browneyes... I want to cook alone ... or with a girl as a partner, but ... Edw has to cook faaaaar from me his own plate.... Otherwise.... I would be the whole time hitting on his hands "do not touch this Edw," "Do not touch that boy", etc .... :goofball:



If I.... could cook for all of you, my friends I would do a different plate for each one ... you have to fill a form out :rolleyes:: with your choice... only one plate per person please!!!

If I ... could feed you all... well, I would sit with you all in a flowered prairie and we would study the most beautiful love's story of all times... The Gospel of John... manna from heaven for us...

Edw...!!!!! why have you sit on those flowers!!! ? Ay, ay, ay!!!! :rolleyes:

Agnos

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If I...
Posted : 31 Mar, 2010 03:43 PM

If I ... had to resign of being loved "down" here to be able to sit at your feet ... I would resign... and yet I would trust that You will do the miracle for me/ for us... because You are �The Love�� and you know how much I / we need to understand, receive and give love!!!

"Father... You, the One in Perfection... You are Who is doing all these miracles� these little, insignificant, scorned miracles... which are being linked to a string of letters� which are linking some of your children to a chain of love in the avid search of Your Presence... children of Yours that don't even know each other... Aren't you amazing!!!!! "

When the time to get away arrive� that love that was planted here will continue in our hearts like a perfect pearl ... AND WE WILL THANK YOU...

And every time we remember these miracles� we will smile with joy ... maybe being a part of another string � maybe in the sweet privacy of only two... AND WE WILL PRAISE YOUR NAME...

Anyway, at the end, when You close the gap of "the time" ... we'll all be tied to the unbroken chain of LOVE that never ends� AND WE WILL WORSHIP YOU IN YOUR PRESENCE....

So be it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Agnos

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If I...
Posted : 30 Mar, 2010 05:08 PM

Ohhhhh!!!!! this is another thread which started with just few letters and became a torrent of poetry !!!!

Jude, Arch and Grace... remember that one which started with that "b"?...

Browneyes... sweet girl... I am in!!! I can cook too, for you all taste my home made black beans... :peace: Dreaming is free... let's dream!!!

Edw... thanks for that poem... Uy!!! a poet hidden behind those pictures!!!.... honestly, boy, your photos are perfect... and you have shown your inner quality here for quite a while!!

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