Recently, I had the audacity to send a lady on this site an email after noticing that she had just posted a picture of herself in a bikini. I will not argue the fact that the picture was very alluring, but something else bothered me. Why would a beautiful woman who claims to be a Born Again Christian display her body in such a manner on the internet for all the world to see?
I'm sorry, I find it offensive that a Christian woman who is looking for a husband would display her body in such a manner. I certainly would not want my future wife advertising herself this way. "As a ring of gold in a swine's snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion" (Proverbs 11:22).
Yet judging by her angry letter, perhaps I was wrong and the woman was right: "Not my fault men like you can't get past their own flesh."
So lets have your views ladies and gents on the subject of "Women and Bikinis" on a Christian dating site.
You are a beautiful lady, but you have diminished your beauty with the display of your bathing suit picture. It contradicts everything in your profile: "As for me and my house we shall serve the Lord"
"that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel...which is proper for women professing godliness" (1 Timothy 2:9-10).
Why would you even think of clicking onto my beach shot
Please with the holier than thou
Do U really think women read your blah blah blah novel profile
A whole lot of ridiculous nothing
No one would ever finish that in one sitting nor would want 2
Boring!
U R not clever or righteous by any means
Cast your stone somewhere else idiot truck driver & film maker
That is laughable
There is a reason U R single
I advise U get a dog for companionship
nothing worse than a jerk who spills out scripture with a bunch of nonsense and stupid icons
I am listed on more favorite lists than any other woman here
Perhaps it is your own lustful thoughts Exam your own perverted thoughts and convict yourself
God made my body and I work hard to maintain my good health
Only a man like you can take that and twist it into something impure
Repent and do not view my profile again
Do not respond
I am not interested in your foolishness
A true man of GOD can view my profile and find beauty only
Your thoughts go past my intent
You are disgusting for thinking such things of my pic
I do serve the lord and I spend a lot of time on that very beach with my pocket bible.
Not my fault men like you can't get past their own flesh
I would have to cover up so U don't get excited
That is your sin not mine fool
Again Exam your impure thought to a peaceful shot of me at the beach DON"T pervert an innocent pic
That is your mind not mine or real men of Christ
No other man on this site made your comment
The problem lies in your lustful eye So U R the Hypocrite
Best you gauge it out as scripture instructs so U can enter heaven
Good Luck I'm glad all the obese women who wear turtlenecks have a shot with you
HA I bet U would Never date an overweight girl
So Again Who's the HYPOCRITE
U
Don't look at my profile or pics "MY DEAR"
Move onto Large unattractive women who contact U b/c God told them 2 U cannot turn down a woman if she emails U even if U find her not appealing Make sure U listen to GOD now and date them Being that U only want a good heart yeh right!
Make sure U don't go to the beach U might end up in hell for having such perversion in your heart
Good post, Siylii. And I agree...if someone felt that my pictures were inappropriate, I'd appreciate a message from them. I might not agree with it, but if something that seems ok to me (as a girl) is causing a guy to stumble, I would take it seriously.
Thank you to the women who know how they can cause a man to stumble with how they dress!!! I see it as 2 sins are happening, her's for dressing in a way to bring attention and lust upon herself. And the man's for not bouncing his eye's! I am guilty, but it sure helps when the Christian women won't dress like that. And I thank those women!
I have often wonder why porn stars and strippers come join a site that says, "Christian"???
For the attention. Or because "Christian" means something different to them. Or because their deluded minds get a kick out of causing someone to stumble - notches on their belt, as it were.
Well, maybe some of these women see their bodies a a gift from God to be shared with the world? Also, there is very little differentiation between 'models' and strippers. Some of the most appalling lady profiles I've seen (sometimes I can't help but click when a thumbnail makes my eyes go "WHAT?") are from women who list their occupation as "model". Sure, they are pretty I guess, but they cake on the makeup, take off the clothes, and put on the airs in a ridiculous way, and to me there is nothing pretty about that.
It starts quite young, too. Our culture is conditioning girls to see things less as they really are (alluring, potentially dangerous) and more as 'normal', fun, or stylish. Anybody see the 'fashions' some children's dolls come with these days? How about the looks on the dolls' faces? Not much is innocent about them. A Disney representative pointed to little girls wanting to be sassy and sexy as a reason for Disney's phasing-out of fairy tale and princess movies. But wait... wasn't it the Disney channel that had a heavy hand in starting this trend with the likes of Hannah Montana and their manufactured tween pop stars?
It is super hard not to give in to a culture of not caring when we are surrounded by it, and I understand that a lot of women/girls do not fully understand the harm of what they are doing. I am afraid they are going to learn the wrong way, or that little girls will see them and the cycle will be perpetuated, and that decent women will feel driven to stoop to that level to be noticed.
Being pretty is nice, but we really do put a disturbing amount of emphasis on it. And it is rarely even a natural 'beauty', but some artificial facade or attitude, and what on earth is pretty about being fake?
A large issue is that a lot of women are taught in girlhood that modest is all about not showing certain parts of your body, like your belly button or cleavage or what have you, when it is so much deeper than that. I found it upsetting when, while visiting my mom's church, I noticed the female high school youth director is still a living Barbie doll of high-maintenance artificial beauty. "That's right, Christian girls, it's all about INNER beauty... ignore the fact that I spent half my day and all my husband's money on my appearance."
This young lady needs something only God can give her--
a new heart---!
Her reply to you shows just how much she's living in the flesh and certainly not being led by the Spirit!
And the fact that she thinks her being on more favorites lists than any woman here is something she can brag about and seems to be proud of is a sad commentary for someone on a Christian site.
Maybe there aren't as many Christian men on this site as I thought. I'm going to pray for her as well as all the men that she is a favorite of. A man that is enticed into that web might biite off more than he can chew.:glow:
So I shouldn't post that picture of myself in a bikini that I just took?!
hehe...
Seriously, though, it saddens me to see women showing off so much flesh. In showing skin, all they're doing is devaluing themselves. It's true that if you click on a scantily-clad picture on here (and there are many!) that those women have A LOT of guys who have listed them as favourites.
Many can afford something that is (or appears to be!) of little value. Few can afford that of great value. It costs a guy (or anyone) to mature spiritually and to be the kind of person than another mature person would want. It's far easier to be immature, shallow, etc.
The fact that this woman considers it to be some kind of achievement to have men ogling her is deeply disturbing. Anyone can get stared at. It's no feat. I could wear a low-cut top and take a picture that focuses in on my chest and get a lot more favourites too. But what would be the point? Why would I WANT to invite sexual perversion into my life? My worth is so much more than that.
Good points, Pixy. Her response shows a lot of rudeness, insecurity and woundedness.
Don't made some good points, men do need to work on their own issues, and women need to look modest.
Our society starts girls very young by making them think that guys like a "hoochie" look, and a lot of them do. Perfect Barbie dolls, coloring books with perfect beauties in them, paper dolls, TV beauty pageants, Hollywood babes with perfect everything, Pin up calenders, car and motorcycle pics with hot bikini babes hanging out on them, playboy and a host of other magazines, wolf calls when sexy things walk by, heads turn when a girl in a short skirt and low cut shirt walk through any public place and on and on it goes.
My exes both liked skinny and sexy, so I was hard pressed and encouraged to compete with their wandering eyes and hearts if I didn't "tow the line." If I wanted to wear a skirt that was longer, my second ex would protest and encourage me to "flaunt what I got" and that other women hated me because they were jealous. We actually fought about it a lot. That made me feel sad, cause I love people and wanted to be loved for me, my heart and who I am inside.
I, too would want to know privately and within reason, if my pic offended anyone. I am into photography and some pics are "poses" and I don't see anything wrong with that if they aren't seductive. (some guys think you should look like an old faded barn with a dress down to your ankles, while they secretly drool over the "hoochies")
Anyway, a humble apology and removing it would be the right thing to do, for a woman who is close enough to the Lord.
And men like you guys on here, that oppose the sexualizing of all age girls to women, take a stand against the promotion of that market in our country. That means no secret magazines, web surfing for certain sites, watching TV shows with blatant sexuality, and anything that promotes this virus gone viral. :purpleangel:
Good words Pixy. Thank-you for reminding us along with Siylii the difference between shallowness and maturity. And also that women have more value than just their body...well put.
Right on Joeysings. Thank-you for the good in-your-face advice to us men. I hope all the men read this post. God forgive us men for treating their wives in such degradable fashion.
