Imagine looking into a woman's eyes as she relates to you the story of how she was abused, beaten or raped, watching the tears flow down her face as she trembles at the memory of something that happened when she was only in her twenties or younger. All the while knowing that there is nothing that you can do to comfort her in that moment. Not as a son, a brother, a father or a friend. You can do nothing to comfort because you are a man. Now imagine looking into those eyes over and over again, eyes with different colors but the same eyes.
If you can imagine this and experience one iota of their pain, see how lightly you can take their safety
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Ladies please forgive me if this stirs up anything, I do not want to pick at scabs. I cannot respond in a private message to my brother and I believe this needs to be said.
This is a fallen world. Mabe it does say something about me that I go to the dark place. I was trained in terrorism countervention back in the 80s. Things have grown darker since then. Also I have listened first hand to far too many women who have been preyed upon by strangers and by the men they loved and should have loved them rightly.
Yes, that makes an impact on a person.
As a man it is hard to not be horrified and angry at the abuse that is dealt at the hands of other men.
There are people here who have lived through many things through the Grace of God. Please accept the council of those that have lived long enough to accrue some wisdom. Then you will be less likely to look back upon your life when you are old and regret having not considered others more highly then yourself.
And sister, do not be afraid about offending us men on a subject like this. I would much rather be offended then any woman be hurt, sister or otherwise.
OK think of this from another point of view. Your safety.
There are men who pose as women on dating site and men do get raped more then you hear about in the news. Men are too embarrassed t report it. When I was in the Marines there was a sailor from our base that was lured to a secluded location by one woman. He was raped by six women and then they beat him almost to death with baseball bats. Also there are those few women who will accuse you of things that you did not do and you may be blackmailed, arrested, or end up with a reputation for abusing/assaulting women.
As noted by our sister. Thing of the girls who meet you without screening you first. If things go well she may think that she can do the same thing with the next guy and get hurt. As men we need to think ahead and plan for the safety of our sisters. No?
None of us can hear for you. We have all got out of step with the Lord at times. Some running ahead. Some falling behind. Some are better about staying in step with Him. But all of us are carried by Him most of the time. Whatever you do, Jesus Loves you and He is advocating to the Father for you.
With surety you are being prayed for.
The Love of Jesus cover you and bless you with ears that hear and a faith that moves mountains
I am thankful to God for the different perspective that He has given me in relating to women. I have seen them now as daughters and or sisters for many years. This in opposition to seeing them in a way as to how they fit into my little life and selfish expectations. Celibacy is a gift to be shared.
Alright I was expecting somebody else to jump on this.
Before telling someone that we Love them we need to be honest with ourselves as to why we are going to say this.
If it would hurt our feelings if they do not say it back then our motivation is most likely that we are telling them that we love them as a method of manipulation so that we can hear it back.
Is it an attempt to coerce them into a situation that we think will advantage us?
If this is a sister (or brother) in Jesus would we tell them this if the situation were absent of romantic subtext?
Bottom line. Are we telling the people in our lives that we Love (Agape) them out of a self sacrificial heart? Or are we telling them that we love (eros, phileo, philanthropia, philautos, philedonos) them for reasons that are lesser or even selfish.
How that usually plays out in real life is that we are attracted to somebody who has qualities that we want for ourselves or that we did not experience when we were in our formative years.
It is alright to seek nurturing from an older woman but it is dishonest (with ourselves to begin with) to be romantically involved with a surrogate mother.
I have ministered to pediphiles and the vast majority of them seek out someone young to try and posses (through another person) their innocence that was taken from them. If you advance the ages of both people so that they are of legal age then the issue is usually that the older person is attempting to recapture their youth or more innocent times.
I have asked many men why they wanted to date younger women. The top two reasons hidden underneath all the male bravado are that they make them (men) feel young by dating the younger women. Second is that the young women are quote (bubbly). This when asked for clarification means that younger women are not weighed down by the fears and worries of children and family. My mother in law even had a book that taught that if a woman loved someone that she should worry about them.
As one who worried to the point of paralyzing fear in regard to my children I can attest to the fact that worrying about anybody or anything is not God plan for us. If we trust in an all knowing, all powerful God. Then fear is folly and a slap in the face to God Almighty.
Secular therapists wont tell you anything is wrong because they are trained that morals an right and wrong do not belong in the counciling office. Sadly most pastors will not tell you the reasons that May/December relationships are wrong is because they do not want to offend anybody.
OK ladies your turn. What are the nefarious reasons that women seek out younger men for romance?
I have been in that place. I figured that beauty does not have an age limit. I still do. But while we are commanded to be equally yolked in a relationship one Christian to another, it is extremely rare that romantic relationships work out well when the age spread is more then a few years. At least one party is trying to work out their own issues at the expense of the other. By all means have friends and councilors of all ages, genders and races. Learn and grow with each of them but remember marriage is "until death do you part" anything less then that is a lie.
Please don't take any of the preceding wrong. Just an older brother sharing with a younger brother.
