A woman asked me through the internet, what I thought about premarital sex (in the context of this dating site, not as in my teen age daughter.) The more I think about it, the more murky it becomes. (Maybe I should think so much.) I'm 46, divorced, so in one way, no relations I have can now be premarital sex. On the other hand, I think she was asking to I believe in sex with someone prior to marriage, as in if we started dating, what did I think about premarital sex.
It is all interesting. I had many interesting conversations with my pastor, in the attempt to save my marriage, in which my wife had committed adultry. We went over the verses that addressed divorce. Basically, it said a man had the right to divorce a woman, only if she cheated. But what was not clear to me, was , is a man allowed to remarry someone other than his original wife, and if so, if that was adultry.
Similarly, premarital sex, among two people who are not married, is not adultry. But is is right, is it proper, is it good? Hard to say. I think that sexual relations should only be in the context of a loving relationship, and if that is prior to marriage, I think it is all right. What do you think?
Thinking of sex outside of marriage from the point of view of a parent: would you want your teenage daughter engaging in sexual relations? As a parent, you can imagine many reasons she should not engage in this dangerous behavior. Once she has married, will you have a different view?
As our Father, the Lord wishes only the best for us. He knows the harm sexually transmitted diseases cause. He also knows the mental anguish that can result, not to mention the children growing up with no fathers due to lack of commitment between the surprised parents.
Loving parents make rules to protect their children. Don�t touch the fire. Wear your coat when the weather turns cold. Look both ways before crossing the street. Do not have sex outside of marriage. All these rules are designed to care for the children. Yet children try to sneak around the rules. Trying to rationalize premarital sex�..playing with fire, are these not both manifestations of children rebelling? Parents (including our Heavenly Father) try to protect their children (including us) as the children push the limits.
Others have stated the biblical verses better than I ever could. Now think of the matter from a common sense point of view. As a father, what choice do you wish for your daughter? Would our heavenly Father want any less for his children?
Wow... all of these posts are amazing! It is so hard to believe that so many "christians" today justify and even suggest that its ok to have pre-marital sex... not on this post! Thats awesome! I guess growing up in a christian home all my life and hearing how wrong it was helps... Although I went through a rebelious time and did have premarital sex... I learned the hard way why God desires us to wait till marriage! May be it hurts women more emotionally than men but as a christian man of God you should want to guard your christian "sisters" hearts and bodies!
My small group is going through the book by Chip Ingram called... Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships... I HIGHLY recommend it! Especially if you have any thoughts of it being ok to have pre[marital sex! Its amazing how much Hollywood plays a part in what we think of romance, marraige and finding THE ONE for us. It starts out explaining how movies, music and todays culture has a prescription on finding Mr./Ms. Right....
Hollywoods Prescription:
1)Find the right person
2)Fall in love
3)Fix your hopes and dreams of future fulfillment on that person
4) If failure occurs, Repeat steps 1,2,and 3.
As Christians we have bought into this prescription in some way... you just have to be honest with yourself and decide how much.
God's desire is this... Ephesians 5:1-2 Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice of God.
In one translation it talks about being a living sacrifice and my friend last night was talking about how awesome it is when it says to be a living sacrifice and not just a sacrifice... if you just sacrifice yourself once... you are dead but being a living sacrifice means doing it over and over again... showing the love of Jesus... Read on in Eph. 5:3... its amazing!
But here is God's prescription for Love, Sex and a Lasting Relationship...
1) BECOME the right person.- Become the man or woman of God that you are desiring!
2) Walk in love. Be a giver instead of a getter!
3) Fix your hopes on God and seek to please Him through your relationship.
4) When failure occurs, repeat steps 1,2 and 3.
True love is...
To give the person what they need the most,
When they deserve it the least!
When this fails... Instead of starting over with another person, you work through it and work on yourself, continuing to become the person of God you strive to be! However if God does show you down the road that the person you are dating is not the one that God has for you, you don't have the baggage of pre-marital sex and all the emotions of it... You will also be able to part ways as respected brothers and sisters in Christ!
In my readings in the past I seem to remember that a physical union through sex also results in a soul/spiritual tie between the two parties. Do others relate to this and can shed some light please?
I had premartial sex one month before my wedding. I did not feel that I was sinning because I was in a committed engaged to be married relationship that I felt was being blessed by the Lord. Maybe God saw it differently but I asked for his forgiveness and that was the end of it. I don't think anyone who is really in love plans on having premartial sex. sometimes it does just happen. But it's mainly because you let yourself get into that situation. If you really want to not have sex untill your married you BOTH have to want it and to take the steps together to prevent it. You have to learn to control your lustfull, sinful worldy body that God gave you.. Just think of your body as His temple, it helps. Plus good things come to those who wait. Gods ways and timing are always better than we can imagine.
I believe that God intends sex to be saved for marriage. Even though one is in a "loving" relationship or is engaged that does not justify or change that one is still not married yet. I believe that it is a gift from God.
Hopeful, you are right on that... but its not only through physical contact. You can form a sexual tie through mental anything, even by desiring that person in your heart.
God warns us to be sexually pure for many reasons. Lust is sinful, yet desire "can be" of God. The Song Of Solomon is looked upon in 2 different ways A.) The marriage between Christ and the Church, B.)A real life love story between a man and a woman.
Sex is a beautiful thing, which God created, strictly for marriage. Not to be misused. As you look at the difference between a perscribed drug and illegal drugs.... sex is the same. And can become very addicting. Reason 1 why God wants us all to remain pure. Another reason is that lust is a big cloud, once lost in it, anyone "including myself" can lose site of God. If you where to go through out the day gocking over "sexy" anything, just another step into sexuality and another step away from God.
This is very dangerous grounds, and I pray for those who are lost in it.
It is so much healthier emotionally for us to keep our eyes focused on what God wants to do in us and through us. If I'm seeking to gratify myself or someone elses desires for the flesh, then I most certainly am not doing what GOD wants. It is pretty clear not to be involved sexually with one with whom we are not married. It is strangely, and extremely difficult and quite another thing to obey Him in this matter. He has made us a certain way to respond to the opposite gender, but all in HIS time is the key.
